:: Always the Freak ::

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
:: welcome to Always the Freak CLICK HERE FOR THE NEW BLOG HOME: ATF v2.0 | | ?WHO IS JENN? |

Taste of San Diego, 9/2006
At the yummalicious Dussini in the Gaslamp.




[::..archive..::]
:: ARCHIVES
[::..ABOUT ME..::]
Just Watched:
Reading:
[::..Dailies..::]
:: A Work In Progress::
:: Bacon & Ehs::
:: ectophensis ::(Taco Shop Psychic)
:: Geese-A-Plenty::
:: Grillboy.net ::
:: Insignificant Thoughts ::
:: Crazy Island ::
:: Leftbanker ::
:: Outhouse Rag::
:: Tyler ::
:: xxcentrik ::
[::..Sometimes..::]
:: Six Different Ways ::
:: Sam-I-Am ::
:: Freak Girl ::
:: Easily Amused::
:: Badmouth::
:: Picnic, Lightning::
:: In Passing ::
:: Home Brew Adventures ::
:: KAYMC ::
[::..JenBoggles..::]
:: The Jencyclopaedia ::
:: Jenn Blogs ::
:: All Things Jen(nifer)::
:: Jen Bennett ::
:: Jenny Apple ::
:: Jen Speaks ::
:: Piehole ::
:: SnarkSpot ::
:: Very Big Blog ::
:: The Working Mom ::
:: Welcome to Jennville ::
:: What's Brewing ::
Listed on BlogShares
[::..Funny as Hell..::]
:: Stocker Mentality ::
:: Interesting Google Searches ::
:: PEEP Research ::
:: Cockeyed Science ::
:: Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About ::
:: Nude Carrot Man ::
:: Something Awful ::
[::..NASCAR..::]
:: NASCAR.com ::
:: Jimmie Johnson Fan Club ::
:: Lowe's Racing ::
:: Hendricks Motorsports ::
:: Jimmie Rules 2 ::
[::..Stuff I Like..::]
:: Pinball Promo Plastics::
:: Fellow Jeopardy Junkies, CLICK HERE! (This is Jennings)::
:: Found Magazine ::
:: My Wishlist ::
:: Jersey Girl Diary ::
:: Placebo Productions ::
:: Nick's NTN Site ::
:: News Askew ::
:: Honeyslide ::
:: Neil Gaiman ::
:: RoadsideAmerica ::
:: Everquest.com ::
:: Bored.com ::
:: WalMart Watch ::
:: My stupid personality test results ::
[::..Audiobooks..::]
11/07/2006
7 ~ The Innocent Man,
John Grisham
09/30/2006
8 ~ The Lovely Bones,
Alice Seebold
09/26/2006
6.5 ~ Rage,
Jonathan Kellerman
09/22/2006
8 ~ Girls in Pants,
Ann Brashares
09/15/2006
9 ~ Twelve Sharp,
Janet Evanovich
09/06/2006
7 ~ The Icon,
Neil Olson
08/20/2006
10 ~ Daughter of Fortune,
Isabel Allende
04/15/2005 7.5 ~ Envy,
Sandra Brown
04/12/2005
7.5 ~ The Crush,
Sandra Brown
04/13/2005
6.5 ~ The Conspiracy Club,
Jonathan Kellerman
03/08/2005
4 ~ Double Homicide,
The Kellermans
01/26/2005
5 ~ Courting Trouble,
L Scottoline
01/25/2005
1 ~ Full House,
J Evanovich
12/02/2004
10 ~ Small Town,
L Block
12/02/2004
3 ~ Darkly Dreaming Dexter,
J Lindsay
11/08/2004
5 ~ Cold Case,
S White
11/08/2004
8 ~ Four to Score,
J Evanovich
09/27/2004
9 ~ The Last Juror,
J Grisham
09/09/2004
0 ~ The Taking,
D Koontz
09/02/2004
7 ~ The Last Girls,
L Smith
08/31/2004
7 ~ Brave New World,
A Huxley
08/31/2004
4 ~ The Virgin Blue,
T Chevalier
08/31/2004
7 ~ Therapy,
J Kellerman
08/12/2004
3 ~ Good Faith,
J Smiley
08/12/2004
8 ~ The Survivor's Club,
L Gardner
06/29/2004
6.5 ~ The Second Summer of the Sisterhood,
A Brashares
06/29/2004
7 ~ Portrait in Sepia,
I Allende
03/29/2004
6.5 ~ Thr3E,
T Dekker
03/22/2004
6.5 ~ Blue Highways,
W Least Heat Moon
03/05/2004
8.5 ~ The Face,
D Koontz
03/05/2004
6.5 ~ Eyre Affair,
J Fforde
01/12/2004
8 ~ The Murder Book,
J Kellerman
01/12/2004
7 ~ A Cold Heart,
J Kellerman
01/02/2004
7 ~ Ambush at Fort Bragg,
T Wolfe
12/12/2004
5 ~ The Beach House,
J Patterson
12/12/2003
10 ~ The Bonfire of the Vanities,
T Wolfe
11/12/2003
10 ~ To Kill A Mockingbird,
H Lee
11/04/2003
6 ~ The Brethren
J Grisham
11/03/2003
5 ~ Hemlock Bay,
C Coulter
10/21/2003
8.5 ~ Jonathan Livingston Seagull,
R Bach
10/21/2003
6 ~ The Old Curiosity Shop,
C Dickens
10/14/2003
7.5 ~ The Sisterhood..
Traveling Pants,
A Brashares
10/01/2003
1 ~ Isle of Dogs,
P Cornwell
10/01/2003
9 ~ The All True Travels...Lidie Newton,
J Smiley
[::..Movie Grades..::]
10/2006
5 ~ Crash
09/2006
9 ~ Rent
09/2006
7.5 ~ Little Miss Sunshine
08/2006
10 ~ Talladega Nights
07/2006
9 ~ Cars
12/02/2004
0 ~ The Grudge
12/02/2004
7 ~ The Incredibles
12/02/2004
4 ~ Ray
12/02/2004
8.5 ~ National Treasure
12/01/2003
7.5 ~ Timeline
12/01/2003
4 ~ Haunted Mansion
11/03/2003
2 ~ The Hulk
10/12/2003
7 ~ Kill Bill, Part One
07/08/2003
7 ~ Terminator 3
07/08/2003
6.5 ~ Bruce Almighty
06/03/2003
6.5 ~ Amelie
06/03/2003
8.5 ~ The Italian Job
06/10/2003
6.5 ~ Matrix Reloaded
04/29/2003
6.5 ~ Identity
04/29/2003
6.5 ~ Anger Management
04/01/2003
6.5 ~ Dreamcatcher
03/25/2003
4 ~ The Banger Sisters
03/18/2003
4 ~ Bringing Down the House
03/18/2003
6 ~ Tears of the Sun
02/25/2003
5 ~ Daredevil
02/09/2003
7 ~ How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
01/24/2003
8 ~ Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets
01/10/2003
2 ~ Mr. Deeds
01/10/2003
5.5 ~ Lord of the Rings: TTT
01/10/2003
7 ~ Star Trek: Nemesis
11/12/2002
1 ~ The Transporter
10/29/2002
6 ~ One Hour Photo
09/04/2002
6 ~ Goldmember
08/27/2002
8.5 ~ Signs
08/13/2002
6.5 ~ Bloodwork
08/13/2002
5.5 ~ Vanilla Sky
08/13/2002
5.5 ~ Monster's Ball
08/7/2002
7.5 ~ Interstate 60
08/7/2002
7.5 ~ Escape From New York
08/7/2002
4.5 ~ Elvira's Haunted Hills
07/30/2002
4 ~ K19
07/17/2002
6 ~ The Bourne Identity
07/17/2002
5 ~ Halloween (8?)
07/8/2002
7 ~ Men In Black 2
06/25/2002
8 ~ Minority Report
06/18/2002
6 ~ Scooby Doo
06/11/2002
4 ~ Undercover Brother
06/11/2002
7 ~ The Sum of All Fears
05/28/2002
8 ~ Insomnia
05/21/2002
7 ~ Star Wars, Episode II - Attack of the Clones
05/14/2002
9 ~ Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone
05/14/2002
4 ~ Snow Dogs
05/14/2002
1 ~ Gosford Park
05/06/2002
6 ~ Spiderman
05/06/2002
6 ~ Jason X
04/30/02
3.5 ~ Murder by Numbers
04/16/02
7 ~ Panic Room
04/09/02
7 ~ Van Wilder
03/26/02
5 ~ Ice Age
03/12/02
4.5 ~ The Time Machine
03/05/02
2 ~ We Were Soldiers
02/28/02
7.5 ~ Blackhawk Down
02/19/02
7 ~ A Beautiful Mind
02/19/02
5 ~ Hart's War
02/12/02
4 ~ Collateral Damage
02/12/02
2 ~ Mothman Prophecies
02/12/02
7 ~ I Am Sam

:: Friday, December 30, 2005 ::

I got my PDA, but didn't plug it in to charge last night for some reason. Retarded, I guess. Actually depressed was more like it. I'm pretty unhappy with my husband right now,in case you haven't figured that out. Last night I thought everything was going to be all better but he just ended up being himself again and I lost it and cried all night. Well, if he couldn't figure out before that something was wrong, then he knows now. But, of course, he doesn't press me on it or anything. And, I thought my family was all about denial. Silly me.

I'm just confused and not sure what to do. I love him and he loves me. That is not a qustion at all. I guess I just feel like WHY is it that in every relationship I never seem to get what I want out of it - fulfillment? It must be me if it keeps happening over and over. I definitely do NOT want to start over AGAIN and I love him, but he is not going to change so how do *I* change so that I can live with what I have instead of pining for what I want. I gues we're back to that whole movie scenario... we get this crap stuffed into our brains how relationships should be but in real life they are never like th movies. I just want to be able to accept that and stop aching for the movie relationship.

:: Jenn 10:57 AM [+]

::
...
:: Thursday, December 29, 2005 ::
Why can't everyone be open minded and a good listener. Those who aren't should just wear a tattoo on their forhead that says "DON'T BOTHER". Then when we see the tattoo we can just keep on going instead of wasting precious time and breath.

It's another joyous day at work (aka the hellhole).

:: Jenn 10:55 AM [+]

::
...
:: Wednesday, December 28, 2005 ::
Argh-o-rama

I wanna bitch and moan....

Instead I'll mention that I met my friend for lunch today and got a Christmas gift from her. Let me just say that this is one of those people who know how to give a gift! People like... well, like ME! Some of my best gifts have come from this particular friend - although to be honest we used to be super-duper close - read old story about ex back in the archives somewhere.

She picked me up a signed ARC of Creepers by David Morrell. I actually received this book for Christmas already, but I'm going to take that version to the book store for an exchange because duh, I have a signed ARC of it now! YEA!

The thing about gift giving is simply this. Give a gift because A) you really want to, B) you found something that someone will just totally dig, and/or C) you want someone to know how important they are to you. The other thing about gift giving is simply this. If you don't have the time or energy or thought to pick out something special for someone, then just don't bother at all. Getting someone a gift because you are obligated to or THINK you are obligated to, doesn't always pan out. Especially if that someone is close to you. They KNOW that you didn't put thought into it and that you only did it out of some sort of obligation - real or imagined. They know that you didn't feel that they were important enough to take the time to find that special something. So just don't fucking do it at all. I honestly believe that no gift is better than a shitty gift. (that said, a shitty gift is not the same as someone THINKING they got someone something really cool and the other person just not getting it or not having the same taste or whatever... that is totally different).

There I said it.

:: Jenn 3:23 PM [+]

::
...
:: Tuesday, December 27, 2005 ::
I wonder if I don't post because I don't feel like I can say the things I want to. When life is anonymous you can say what you want. Once people know who you are, things... shift. Like now. I could use an outlet to "express myself" (read: whine), but I just don't feel like I can do it here. One, Mr. SD could always read it although I doubt he'd bother. Two, too many people I know in real life read this.

Will the things I talk about make me look whiny? Or maybe stupid? Stupid for whining or stupid for living this way? I don't know. I'm confused.

I'm really depressed right now and I have to go to work so I can't even cry. I wish I could just sleep. Why does sleep elude me? Right now I set this goal. I will remember to take a sleeping pill every night this week at 7 pm. Well except on Wednesday when I have to go play pinball. Why did I do THAT to myself!?! As if I don't have enough stress in my life I signed on for a season of pinball league. Who knows... maybe it will be good for me to get out and see friends.

Just the kind of post someone wants to read, huh? Just ignore this. I should just write letters that I tear up instead of typing here. I just want someone to talk to, I guess. That's not going to happen. I guess I will head in to work early now and just shut the hell up. There are people dying all over the world, who the hell am I to complain?

:: Jenn 5:06 AM [+]

::
...
:: Sunday, December 25, 2005 ::
Christmas Present to Myself

I just went online and bought myself a new PDA... it'll be here in 3-5 days. I'm excited!

:: Jenn 9:32 PM [+]

::
...
:: Friday, December 23, 2005 ::
You know those fake contests where you enter a poem or send in a photo and then, WOW, AMAZING - YOU WIN!!! ANd, to see your winning entry, just send some dough for a book showing your work published?

Yeah, I know about these because I submitted a photo to one once. It was a great photo and I got points. Well, today, I submitted a poem... same reason. Points on freeride.com. It was reminiscent of a poem I wrote years ago about a boyfriend, but I couldnt' remember that one or where my book of cheesy whiny poems went, and I was in a hurry so I submitted this:

Take back your eggshells!
I won't be needing them
Anymore.
I've got hiking boots
And I'm gonna use them.


and I sort of liked it! huh.

Well.... I have one thing to say:

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May the new year find me posting often and reading even more. heh

xo

:: Jenn 8:49 AM [+]

::
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