:: Always the Freak ::

:: Tuesday, April 29, 2003 ::

Grrrrrrr

I'm feeling so angry right now. My job is so getting me down. I guess it's good that I'm being sent to a meeting in San Diego tomorrow. Whew.

Why is it so difficult for the Powers That Be (people who are supposedly highly educated and experienced) to understand the concept that the program I work for HAS FREAKING MONEY. Not only do we have the money, only SIX PERCENT of our funding comes from the county (who I work for). This means that for every dollar we spend only six cents comes out of county dough. the rest is state and/or federal money. SO, how stupid are they to deny us purchasing items. Case in point. I put in an order for a copier. Today I get a call that we're getting a "recycled" copier. It's definitely better than the one we're replacing, but the point is that if they have this extra one, why not give it to a program that DOESN'T have money rather than us who could buy a bigger, better, newer copier for next to nothing. Of the $9k that I was spending on the copier, only about $360 was coming out of county monies. STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!

Then you have the employees. In the midst of the county turmoil and people LOSING THEIR JOBS, they find it necessary to complain because they'd like their keyboard trays to be moved to the right about 3 inches. Like that is important to my day. FUCKING MORONS. ShUT THE HELL UP AND DO YOUR FREAKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That feels a little better.

:: Jenn 4:43 PM [+]

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FREE FREE FREE

Find your local Ben & Jerry's at their website! It's FREE CONE DAY, BABY!!! We LIKE free stuff!!! YEA!!

While on the subject of Ice Cream, WHAT IS THE BEST FLAVOR...??? I can't help myself, I love plain old vanilla. Does that make me boring? Sometimes I like Double Chocolate Malted Crunch, but you can only get that at Rite Aid (It used to be Thrifty's). What is your favorite?

:: Jenn 9:46 AM [+]

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It's So Weird!

I feel like I have so many things I want to write about but just not enough time. So when I finally get on here, the momentum gets lost and the timing is wrong for the things i wanted to talk about. Ah well. No beeeg deal. So today's topic is (well, it is Tuesday and all) MOVIES.

Last week, I failed to do my movie review of Anger Management on Tuesday. Oops. So, I'll do it today. First, I gotta say, I love Adam Sandler and except for Mr. Deeds, WHICH SUCKED ASS, and Little Nicky, which somehow I haven't seen, I LOVE ADAM SANDLER MOVIES. Yes, I am completely aware that they are stupid as hell. I understand that it is pure cheese and fluff, but I love 'em. Can't help myself. That said, I really liked ANger Management. Okay, I agree that it wasn't exactly Academy Material or anything, but hey, not only was it an Adam Sandler movie, but it also had good ol' Jack Nicholson, playing his psychotic self and marissa Tomei, being her cute self. What was not to like? If you breathe, you probably already know as much about this movie as I could tell you without going line by line or giving away any surprises that might be there, so I'm not going into all that. Yes, the trailers showed the best of it, but there were lots more funny lines and I laughed a lot. I liked it. I give it a 6.5. Oh, and Mr. San Diego also really liked it and he has only recently been being forced into being an Adam Sandler fan... but he's not exactly kicking and screaming.

This week we saw Identity. Gee, I guess Sony's coming out with all the good stuff this month, huh? I'll preface with the fact that John Cusack is damned close to being my favorite actor. I see all of his movies and I love most of them... there was the Grifter fiasco and that crappy ass Midnight in the Garden, but otherwise, I'm lovin' John's flicks. I was really excited about this one because the trailers made it look kinda scary, but I really had no idea what it was about. Think 10 Little Indians, but in 2003 and with a weird twist. No, a couple of weird twists. That's the thing here. You have no clue what exactly is happening, but then pieces start to make sense and you get an idea. But, really, you have no idea. I can't say much more or I'd spoil it for you. It's a bit more of a slasher flick than I knew. There is blood and guts. Just beware that if you don't like that, you may not like the movie. And, (I'm trying not to give stuff away here, but...) it's not an "everyone lives happily ever after" thing. I know I get pissed when I expect that and then the end is bad or sad or whatever, so warning... don't think hearts and smiles, here. THERE ARE NONE. Mr. San Diego and one of the friends we saw this with (female) did not like it. The other friend we went with (male) and I liked it. So there is a 50/50 shot at liking it. For me? I give it a 6.5.

6.5 ~ Anger Management

6.5 ~ Identity

(I feel like I'm getting pretty boring on my ratings, but these last three have all been right there: above average, good, but not great. 6.5)

:: Jenn 9:37 AM [+]

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Number One Hits

Thanks to Chad at Taco Shop Psychic I found a brand new time waster at thisdayinmusic.com!!! hehe Here are the Number One Hits on the US music charts every year on my birthday since I was born, starting with the year I was born (1968):

1968 was... Harper Valley P.T.A. by Jeannie C. Riley
(I just listened to this song this morning!!)

1969 was... Sugar Sugar by The Archies

1970 was... Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Diana Ross

1971 was... Go Away Little Girl by The Osmonds

1972 was... Black and White by Three Dog Night

1973 was... Let's Get it On by Marvin Gaye

1974 was... Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe by Barry White

1975 was... Fame by David Bowie

1976 was... Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry

1977 was... The Best of My Love by The Emotions

1978 was... Boogie Oogie Oogie by Taste of Honey

1979 was... My Sharona by The Knack

1980 was... Upside Down by Diana Ross

1981 was... Endless Love by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie

1982 was... Jack and Diane by John Cougar

1983 was... Maniac by Michael Sembello

1984 was... Missing You by John Waite

1985 was... Money For Nothing by Dire Straits

1986 was... Stuck On You by Huey Lewis and the News

1987 was... I Just Can't Stop Loving You by Michael Jackson and Siedah Garrett

1988 was... Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns 'n' Roses

1989 was... Don't Wanna Lose You by Gloria Estefan

1990 was... Release Me by Wilson Phillips

1991 was... I Adore Mi Amor by Color Me Badd

1992 was... End of the Road by Bozy II Men

1993 was... Dreamlover by Mariah Carey

1994 was... I'll Make Love to You by Boyz II Men

1995 was... Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio

1996 was... Macarena by Los Del Rio

1997 was... Honey by Mariah Carey

1998 was... I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith

1999 was... Unpretty by TLC

2000 was... Music by Madonna

2001 was... I'm Real by J. Lo

2002 was... Dilemma by Nelly & Kelly Rowland

WOW. This just goes to prove that except for Aerosmith in 98 and then Madonna in 2000, music really took a turn for the worse come the 90s. Bleh! Good Lord! Again, I would like to point out how much I miss the 80s. *SIGH*

:: Jenn 4:23 PM [+]

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What a Weekend

Guess I'm a posting failure or something. Haven't posted in DAYS! But, in my defense I had no net access since Friday morning early. It was RACE WEEKEND in Fontana! YEA!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!! heh

We headed out to qualifying on Friday and so I finally got to watch my first qualifying. Guess who landed the pole! STEVE PARK! I was very happy for him and PROUD! I always like rooting for the underdogs and he is something of an underdog. Granted he has a lot of chick fans because he's hot and all, but a lot of people make fun of him because since his accident in '01 he sort of talks a little funny and he doesn't really win. He has some good runs but for the most part he's running in the back of the pack. So, it was too awesome to see how fast he was flying in qualifying and I was proud of him and cheered like crazy!

Of course then he bombed out in the race and came in way in the back, but oh well. He got a little glory there for a bit. The race was extremely exciting. We were rooting for Rusty or Jimmie of course and both were running pretty good through most of the race, particularly Rusty (who I met on thursday night at Harrah's San Diego). It was exciting and I even was cool with Kurt Busch taking home the win. Afterall he was the "maid of honor" to Jimmie's win last year. I guess it was cool for him to take it this year.

However, WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH JIMMIE??? Every week he either wrecks or blows an engine with only a few laps (or a few feet!) to go! ARGH! Talk about frustrating...I guess it's even more frustrating for him than me, but still! I have more to say, but my presence is being requested ofr a nice long power walk, so I'll be back!

:: Jenn 10:12 AM [+]

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Blinkity Blink

What's cool is that a few people have signed up over at Blink Rewards from here. I didn't think I'd ever get enough points to get anything, but I actually do some internet shopping. Every time I buy something online, even my airline tickets, etc, I go to Blink first and click over from there and get points. Now, I'm just trying to decide if i want gift certificates from Amazon, or Target, or Red Lobster, or WHERE! This is cool! Thanks to those of you who signed up and look around at those options over there, because if you sign up for that stuff or buy things online, the points will come faster than you think. My advice is to look at every offere. A lot of them cost money, but there are bunches that don't, too. Oh, and be sure to go the Cars Direct link and fill out stuff there... not only did I get a lot of help picking out a car, but I got 90,000 points there!

:: Jenn 12:01 PM [+]

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Stressful?

Ever done the homebuying thing? Just a little on the stressful side. We have not yet made an offer. We're still busy wading through all of the "problems" that may need to be taken care of. But none of them seem insurmountable in any way, shape or form to me. I'm ready to make an offer. Just waiting on Mr. San Diego to decide if he can deal with those "little things" and how we want to proceed with the offer part. He wants it too, though.

The really nice thing about us looking at houses together is how alike we are and how similar our "wants & needs" for a house are. We love the same stuff, we don't like the same stuff, we're looking for the same things. How did I find someone so completely compatible with me? It's nuts! All in all, I hate house shopping... hehe I hope this one works out because I love the house and becuase I can't bear to continue doing this shopping thing. HATE IT. But at least I'm doing it with Mr. San Diego.

But, I LOVE THIS HOUSE! When we were standing in the backyard looking at the house, I could picture all of my friends standing around on the back redwood deck by the BBQ, or through the windows into the sun room and out on the lawn playing horseshoes in the horshoe pits. I just saw my life happening there and I knew it was the right one.Cross your fingers for me.

:: Jenn 9:52 AM [+]

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The Dress, Part WHATEVER

Alright, you all know about my eBay Wedding Dress. I mentioned how the seller raised the shipping on me. What happened was that I asked BEFORE I bid, how much shipping would be. She replied "about $20". I bid. I won. She sent me a "bill" including $35 shipping. I emailed her questioning and she replied "try going to the post office with a wedding dress and see how much they tell you shipping is." I realize that a wedding dress is heavy. I said no more and shot off the payment. and waited. AND WAITED. AND WAITED. I emailed her after a week and asked if she shipped the dress via Standard USPS Priority mail or Parcel Post. Guess which. Uh huh... parcel post. takes WEEKS and costs little. SO I waited to get it. It came in last week to my mom's house and I got to see it last night. Guess how much postage was. C'mon GUESS! $13.38!!! AND the box was smashed and OPEN!!! Now guess what bitch is getting negative feedback on day 90! I am the ebayer who NEVER leaves negative feedback. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. But, this bitch not only cheated me, she outright LIED to me! I'm a little indignant. Plus I paid her immediately and she never even left me feedback! She obviously knows that I'm going to be pissed and didn't leave feedback so she could retaliate if I left he negative, so I'll wait until the last day feedback can be left and that will be that. Grrrr I hate being lied to. REALLY HATE.

:: Jenn 9:43 AM [+]

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Hey There

Busy Busy Girl!!! Had a class today... was sick yesterday... just a lot going on. Dealing with the house thing. Of course there are always a zillion problems and "issues" to wade through. *SIGH* I'll talk about it when I have more time. Maybe tomorrow. Hold tight, I'll be back.

:: Jenn 4:02 PM [+]

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Weekend update:

Found House. Now just have to make offer and cross fingers. It's PERFECT, so I'm worried we wont get it. We'll see.

How cool is it that Mr. San Diego made me an Easter Basket. I don't celebrate Easter, but I LOVE Easter Baskets AND PEEPS! No one besides my mom has ever made me an Easter Basket. YEA!

Upstairs neighbors EXTREMELY screamy last night, if you know what I mean!

Both Mr. San Diego and I have pains in the back... his, unfortunately, is much worse and we're spending a lot of time in the hot tub.

I'm feeling much better today than I did the last two days... whew.

:: Jenn 6:36 AM [+]

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I am EXTREMELY grumpy today.

:: Jenn 3:15 PM [+]

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Busy month!

In four weeks, I will be in Hawaii. I can't wait. I've spent SO much time planning the damn trip, I just want to be there and do it and quit stressing. The next four weeks are gonna be pretty nuts, though!

This weekend, more house hunting. Next weekend the Nascar Race in Fontana, which I ma looking FORWARD TO! YEA! JIMMIE IS GOING TO DEFEND HIS WIN! I am confidant that all will be well and Jimmie will have no problem bringing it home for momma again. =) hehe We'll actually be spending all three days up here, too, so I'll finally get to see qualifying. It's going to be fun.

The weekend following that Ren Faire starts so we'll be attending AT LEAST opening day on Saturday, if not Sunday, too. I guess I need to contact the rest of my guildies and see if anyone is showing up this season. Man, life sure changes. I remember when we used to go EVERY weekend, now just hooking up for one is a challenge.

After that, we have only one weekend before the Hawaii trip and on that weekend we have a concert scheduled, so it's not completely free, plus we'lll probably be needing to look at some more houses by then! Life's going to be busy for a while. Hopefully , Hawaii will be relaxing. Hopefully. Vacations can be stressful if you try and pack too much into a short time. I learned that in Cancun some years back, so now I always try to schedule R&R in there somewhere. I just want to sit down and breathe.

:: Jenn 8:07 AM [+]

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Pssst...

Don't tell, but I am listening to OLD Country Music today that I made a mix CD of ~ like from the 70s and 80s (well, it's not all old, a couple of newer ones are in there). I am so cheesy. It all reminds me of "old times" though. =) I guess I'll just never be "cool".

:: Jenn 7:54 AM [+]

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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Ummm... I noticed no one had that job offer for me... or the $100k. Damn. What's up with that?!? I did win $53 in the lotto last week, but that wasn't quite the big one I was hoping for.

:: Jenn 3:45 PM [+]

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Six Feet Under

Yea, finally got to see this week's episode last night. It was actually kinda good. I'm sticking by my idea to kill Lisa off at the beginning of an episode, but next week's episode is looking GOOD. Those teasers can trick you, but it looked as though it was going to SMACK with taboo stuff. Wheeee!

That Maya is really cute, too and I got that maternal feeling watching. I told Mr. San Diego it was time to visit friends with kids again. I need to remember why the hell I don't want those damn little rug rats! Actually, I do remember and was teasing. When I see 'em on TV and they look so little and sweet... I just wanna hold one. Of course, then I get bored of holding them and just wanna give 'em back. hehe It's so funny how a person can change so much over the span of 2-3 years. WEIRD.

:: Jenn 3:45 PM [+]

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But I don't even LIKE chocolate!

This is my cry as I shove another chocolate easter egg into my mouth. Geez. Can people PLEASE NOT GIVE ME JUNK FOOD! I really am not into chocolate except for cake, but for some reason when you aren't eating junk food, all of a sudden it sounds good when it's stuck in front of your face. Weird. THAT just added about 3 points onto my count for the day. heh It's all good.

:: Jenn 3:41 PM [+]

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Shoppin'

Wow, I'm really getting into this secret shopping gig. Can't wait to start getting the paychecks, though! haha I've done about 4 so far and I have one more scheduled for Monday. The funny thing is the Monday one is the grocery company my mom works for and she said "You better not do *****!" They HATE secret shoppers! I have to admit though, the company she works for is pretty anal about stupid things and they actually get written up for not doing certain things they are "supposed" to, even when it isn't warranted to do those things. As an example, you know how grocery stores have CLUB cards. They get written up for not asking for the customer's club card... EVEN IF THE CUSTOMER ISN'T BUYING A CLUB CARD ITEM!!! Lame. I'll make sure to have a club card item. I wish they'd let me rate the store rather than the employees, though. This particular store has THE worst produce ever which is why I switched stores to do my shopping at. Anyway, I'm having fun doing this. I will have more fun when all those little checks start pouring in =) The main reason why I wanted to start doing this is that I want to do restaurants. Free meals...what's not to like!?! Yesterday I finally found a service that has restaurants only you have to have a certain shopper "rating" in order to get them. How am I supposed to get a rating if I can't get the shops!?!?! ARGH! Oh well, the more I do, the better chance I have of finding food ones and being on a companies "A" list. In the meantime I'll keep doing these other stores until I get bored of doing it.

:: Jenn 8:34 AM [+]

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Help Wanted?

Does anyone want to pay me $100k per year to do very little and have a lot of vacation time? This would really solve all of my problems. I think. Well, it would sure help and I could get out of this hell hole. It's a hell hole, but it's a better hell hole than other hell holes in the county. *SIGH* I'm so damned stuck here. Maybe I should buy a Master's degree, what do you think?

:: Jenn 11:46 AM [+]

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The Good vs. The Bad

First the GOOD NEWS. I know exactly the house/property I want. Well, in the abstract, not one exact location. I have the picture in my head and I think it should be in Valley Center because Valley Center is beautiful, even if there doesn't seem to be a grocery store anywhere close. The house will be over 2000 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 2-1/2 baths, state of the art kitchen, large family room for the poker table and pinball machines. I can totally visualize it... wow, it's pretty! The lot is huge and besides the 3 car garage, there is a "barn-type" structure in the back. Two stories! One floor is devoted to storage for the toys and the other floor is a small apartment for guests. The jacuzzi out back is sweet and while sitting in it you can smell the orange blossoms from the fruit trees. Uh huh... it's grand.

The bad news? HAHAHAHA That would only run us a paltry 1/2 mil...

Oh well. I guess I know I can't be Instant Gratification Girl... it's going to take SOME TIME to find that property for under $350k. At least I have more time to get some of my debt paid down, right?

:: Jenn 7:59 AM [+]

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Oops

Friday I was so busy I never made it online to mention the Survivor fiasco. TWO WEEKS IN A ROW!!! My two picks got voted off consecutively! Unbelievable. I really think Deena had a shot at it, but she really blew it. She totally underestimated the relationships. I said all along that those two young stuck up girls would be her undoing. Ah well... I really don't have a pick now, so I'm supporting Mr. San Diego's pick, Christy. I hate it when my picks get voted off. I much prefer seasons like last time where my guy WINS! Phooey!

:: Jenn 7:55 AM [+]

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Update on the war against fat

I kinda blew my whole Weight Watchers thingy last week (all the way up until last night, actually). I'm a little disappointed in myself, because up until being a flake last week, I've been doing so great. My goal is to improve my eating habits, so I guess I feel like if I can fall into habits similar to my old ones, maybe I haven't changed as much as I though I had. I'm not worried about it or giving up or any of that. I just really want to make a LIFESTYLE change and not just a temporary one. I'm probably exaggerating. Saturday was the only day that was REALLY bad and I did invoke the "family get together rule" as it was Grandma's birthday... but still. I want to focus on making my new way of eating a habit, so that I don't fall to my old ways once I'm happy with my weight (and I still have a ways to go... darn it! hehe) I guess that's kinda good, though. The longer I continue in the GOOD eating habit, the more natural it becomes.

I really feel like writing down EVERYTHING you put in your mouth is key, though. That was the one thing I flaked on and then I caught myself paying less attention. So, I vow to get my butt back on track this week and pay attention to what crosses my lips. This program rocks and it's much easier than any other type of weight loss plan. I can do it! I'm going to be svelte and look HOT in my bathing suit! hehe (that's all that positive thinking crap hahaha)

:: Jenn 4:18 PM [+]

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Have I lately mentioned that I'm extremely tired of my job?

:: Jenn 3:54 PM [+]

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Loquacious is my favorite word

:: Jenn 10:54 AM [+]

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$100,000 would really help me out

:: Jenn 10:53 AM [+]

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House buying is BRUTAL!

I know you don't find your dream home on day one, but I AM Instant Gratification Girl and I do not wait well. We found the most perfect, beautiful house that I wanted and BAD... but, of course there is always a but, no property AND a pool. I really prefer not to have a pool. I've had a pool for years and they are a LOT of work. Plus, my big deal was having some property around us so we're not spitting at our neighbors out the window and we have room to expand if we need to. We also saw a GREAT piece of property with a very old but pretty large house on it that we are still considering. The thing is, with this one, we're talking MAJOR remodeling for years. I think that if we went for it and did a major remodel job each year (with the big tax return we'll be getting hehe) that in ten years, it would be close to a million dollar house, but it's also committing to a LOT of work. Do we really want to go there? Dunno. The whole deal stresses me out. We also looked today at a town about 30 miles north of us which would be closer to where I work, but would be that much further from where Mr. San Diego works. I definitely don't mind having less of a commute, but Mr. San Diego leaves pretty early already and he doesn't get off work until 6, where I get off work at 5:30 so we would actually end up seeing each other less if we live closer to my end. It's tough, but we decided that if we happen to find the right place up there, we'll do it. We're basing the decision on finding the right piece of property/house. There are plus and minuses to each area that we're looking at. Our biggest concern is pretty much finding the place that will be right for us in the long run. We are planning on staying in the house we buy for a long, long time. Well, there's always next weekend =) I'll torture you by keeping you posted!

:: Jenn 8:08 PM [+]

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Bleh

I hate arguing. Mr. San Diego and I had an arguement. It is so rare that we even disagree that I get very disconcerted when it happens. Usually, the only glitch is me having one of my bi-monthly psycho moments and being a bi-otch while he tries to find ways to cheer me up and make me happy. However last night I was irritated with planning our Hawaii trip and not getting as much feedback and assistance from him as I would like. I may have mentioned that I suck at relationships and that whole communication thing... I'm getting better, but I still don't always handle things well. I thought I was doing pretty good, the only bad part being my raising my voice, but apparently I pissed him off. That freaks me out because he is so mellow that he never gets mad about things... well, rarely anyway. He stomped off to the other room with his pillow and I told him basically that if he was planning on not sleeping in our bed, there was no point in me being there because I was there because I love him and to be with him, so if I wasn't going to be with him, I'd just leave. He came back to bed we hugged and finished our conversation a little more calmly. It was a rough 5 minutes, though. It makes me feel yucky when things aren't smooth.

And yesterday we were so happy because we got our loan approval... now we are just waiting for the realtor to find us some homes to look at. I was really unsure about this whole buying a house thing. I knew it was his plan for the last year, but I was just nervous about it, but now I'm excited and ready to do it. The only problem is that even though we qualify for a paltry 1/2 mil, we don't want to spend over $300k. In San Diego that is VERY low - good houses start at about $400k, so I'm worried we won't find anything suitable. But I'm going to remain positive for the time being! This is very exciting!

:: Jenn 9:34 AM [+]

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Link Time!

It has actually been some time since I've put up any new links to check out, but I decided it was about damned time. Without a whole lotta ado, here are some sites I've recently stumbled across:

...From The Heart (It's way pretty!)

Easily Amused has stolen my motto, but I'll forgive her because it's a good read. Her recent post is about the whole Nigerian Scam and those of us who entertain ourselves by screwing back with the scammers. I'll have to tell you about my Nigerian friend, Temi, sometime. I think I'm going to go with her discussion and see if I can't get Temi to shoot me off a picture of himself. hehe

Badmouth is a site devoted to entertainment reviews. It's fun.

and of course, gotta throw in a Jenn Blog:

SnarkSpot is the website of Jennifer Weiner, author.

HAVE FUN!

:: Jenn 1:18 PM [+]

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Audiobooks

Some of you may remember my discussing the Dean Koontz problem. That being that Dean Koontz must be getting the brain tumor problem and his books were getting annoying (and, no, I still have not finished One Door Away From Heaven... I'm working on a Jennifer Record. Been reading it since September, but from the Amazon Reviews, I guess I'm not the only one having diffiuculty with it!). HOWEVER, I downloaded the newest one, By the Light of the Moon, that I had anticpated some nut getting me for Christmas (but no one did) and am listening to it now. All 75 hours of it. And, I'm liking it. For a change, we don't have to read every chapter back and forth between 5 different characters/storylines. The story gets to the point and keeps me interested. If you're an old Koontz fan, you'll probably like this. OH! And, there is NO dog! Go figure! When I finish this, I'm either moving on to Jonathan Kellerman or back to Sue Grafton - I'm ready for "I is for Innocent".

I have to say that the audiobook experience is really a positive one for me. I have always been quite a reader and in the last few years, my reading time has diminished. It's really nice to get caught back up with the authors I enjoy. I'm going to mix it up a little more between novels, classics, and maybe some good clean "learnin'", though.

:: Jenn 1:14 PM [+]

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Cell Phones?

My big need on my new cell phone was one with an alarm. So WHY THE HELL does this alarm keep screwing me up!?!?! I set it, checked it, double checked it, and told myself no hitting it trying to snooze; that I would LOOK at it when it went off... except it didn't go off! So ONCE AGAIN I did not go to the gym. Mucho GRRRRRR. Next week Next week Next week... I have said that for three weeks now! Pretty soon, I might as well just give up. If it doesn't work out NEXT week at my mom's, I'm buying an alarm clock for the guest room. This is getting ridiculous! Do you think I just don't want to go to the gym so I'm sabotaging myself in my sleep? hehe

:: Jenn 8:32 AM [+]

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WOW

Well that's over. (I hope) You know, I have always gotten irritated in the past with Bloggers getting all war-ish on each other and my intention wasn't to start a war, really. I just felt like when someone attacks me, I can't just sit there and ignore it. I wish I was a big enough person that I could, but I'm not. I'll try really hard to not let something like this happen again. I'll also make a BETTER effort not to resort to being nasty and making derogatory comments about others. I apologize for adding digs in that post after I said I didn't want to. That was stooping.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

:: Jenn 8:27 AM [+]

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My Response to Kathleen's Hateful Opinions

My current challenge has been determining the answer to the simple question of how do I respond when someone personally and publicly attacks not just me, but the man I love. An attack that, besides being very bizarre, was based on a complete exaggeration of the truth. My first knee-jerk reaction was to just hit back, because that would certainly be easy and it would probably feel good. But, being me, and knowing my propensity for going off half-cocked and not stopping to look at the big picture, I paused. Let me think a little about this. My second reaction was to defend my relationship and decisions, but then I don’t see why I should need to defend myself to someone who DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME. My third reaction was to inform Kathleen privately via email that I was aware of her passive aggressive game (sure she supposedly tried to “change the names” and exaggerated so much that I actually was clueless until it got to the part about the wedding dress and engagement ring. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that she’s taking a stab at me ~ she knows I read her) and that it was certainly an ugly thing to do for no reason. I thought that I shouldn’t create some ugly public brawl, but as I’ve considered it for the last couple of days, I stop to think about the nature of blogging. Isn’t my blog to discuss things that occur in my life and affect me?

This train of thought has led me to think about my blog. I definitely use it as a place to vent frustrations in my life, but I think that I’ve also used it as a place to talk about the good times I’ve had and those things that make me happy. I sure thought there was a balance of those two areas. I’m wondering if I read it not knowing me, if I could somehow read between a LOT of lines and come up with what Kathleen has suggested about my life. I’m not sure that I could. For one thing, I think it’s natural for someone who has been absolutely crushed in relationships in the past to be afraid of being in a relationship and afraid of trusting in the beginning. If it isn’t, then well, okay I guess I have problems, but the truth of the matter is that I had been single for some time and had fully planned to remain single. Looking for a guy was not a part of my agenda, I planned my future out as though it would be me against the world and I was perfectly fine with that. With a friend, as a joke, I even created a list of 30 criteria that would have to be met by any guy that might show an interest. This was safe because then no man would be able to come into my life and shake it up because what are the odds that I could get 90% of those criteria met. But then my friendship with Mr. San Diego blossomed and became more and as I checked him against the “LIST”, he was everything that I wanted in a man. So the fact that I chose to try a relationship with him (a relationship that in the beginning I continually attempted to sabotage to protect myself) seems perfectly natural. This guy pursued me, put up with all of my bullshit trying to push him away and has done nothing but love me and treat me like a queen for over a year! How can I possibly not get over my psycho-ness, let go of the fear and let myself be happy with this man and hell yeah, next year in May, I will be Mrs. San Diego. Hey, he isn’t perfect, but I challenge anyone to show me a perfect person in this world and I am certainly not perfect either!

Yes, I told Kathleen that he had cheated in a past relationship, but what I don’t tell people is that in my past, so have I, on more than one occasion. I’m this horrible person who did things that I would never want done to me (and HAVE had done to me!) and I will have to live the rest of my life making amends to MYSELF for the bad things I’ve done. I can come up with a million excuses and reasons why I did the things I did. Afterall, my parents taught me all about having other partners. I can blame it on my parents in plenty of ways, but the fact is I knew right from wrong and I chose to take the wrong path. So I guess if you are going to call the man I love a “slimeball” and a “lying, cheating, blowhard” and a “deadbeat”, you better go ahead and insert those adjectives in describing me, too. I know I’ve come across as Miss Righteous on the topic of cheaters so blast me if you choose. I honestly do feel that it’s a horrible thing to do. When I say that I made mistakes, I mean it. But, I learned from them and I would never do those things again.

If I had received this kind of feedback from someone who knows us, has met us, has any knowledge of us as individuals or as a couple, I might stop and take a look at what is being said to see if I really am blind to something. But, the only feedback I’ve gotten from anyone else has been positive and we are very happy together, so it’s a little confusing being told that my relationship is a bad one. I feel offended at being basically called a weak-minded, needy person who would do anything to be with ANY guy. That is ridiculous. I certainly have my problems and I certainly have my weaknesses in general but there are extremely few people out there that KNOW me who would call me weak minded OR needy. If you ask people who know me you’re much more likely to get the adjectives “independent” or “adventurous” (and particularly “anal” haha). The fact that Kathleen not only does not know us, but clearly after her little Vegas scam had no intention of ever meeting us makes me absolutely wonder why someone would, or hell, even COULD be so hateful and nasty for no reason to strangers. Maybe if I spent my time complaining about him, it might make sense… why stay with someone who makes you unhappy? But, I talk about how HAPPY I am, so this whole thing makes even less sense.

ARGH! I just started typing responses to her bizarre comments about my choices to move and our impending marriage, but there I go trying to defend my choices and it isn’t necessary. Why my being happy with my life is the wrong thing, I will never understand. Luckily for me I have the sense not to think that someone else’s opinion has any bearing on reality. It would be awfully silly to move back to my mom’s, call off the wedding, and give up the best relationship I’ve ever seen, let alone been involved in because Kathleen doesn’t think it’s a good relationship (this from one who throws hot coffee at her “boyfriend/husband/figment of her imagination”). How awful that I want to eat dinner when we get home so I cook for us both! Like I want to eat the frozen crap he cooks! Oh my god, he watches TV at night and sometimes is online at night, he must really hate me and is just pretending to love me! (that is sarcasm, folks) And yeah, it would definitely make more sense to move somewhere so I could get home and sit around for another hour waiting for him to join me rather than getting home at the same time each night! I’m still trying to figure out what she thinks his motive is in being with me since she clearly believes that he doesn’t love me. Hmmm… does this imply that SHE thinks there is something wrong that a man couldn’t love me? I hadn’t thought of that! It seems to me the only person here being nasty to me and attempting to make me unhappy is Kathleen. One has to wonder what is going on in her life that she feels the need to try to tear someone else down. Hope it made her feel better about herself, because she looks like an ass.

For the record, everyone has different priorities in life. This is a topic I think I’ve probably talked about before. As individuals, we all have things that are important to us and there are few of us whose priorities are exactly the same. In addition, we all also have a different level of means by which we have to live. Some of us can afford the finest and some of us just try to live like we can! Haha That would be me! But seriously, I am different than a lot of people and my priorities are obviously quite different than Kathleen’s. A ring is much less important to me than finding the home we want to buy, purchasing furniture, traveling, etc. We’re buying wedding rings, of course. I just didn’t feel the need for a big pricey engagement ring. So what?

So, Kathleen, in response to your hateful little diatribe, it is unacceptable. After your lies in Las Vegas, I know you aren’t really who you pretend to be, but I felt there was no point in having a big to-do about it. Sure, I felt stupid, I’m sure you can imagine, but you weren’t this big important person in my life, so I just shined it on. I guess you must have been disappointed by my lack of response and perhaps that’s why you moved on to Plan B, but it doesn’t matter. You’re welcome to continue your attempts to fuck with me, however I will not be participating. I have never called you, I have never “gushed” to you, but I do use my blog to talk about how I love Mr. San Diego. If you didn’t like reading it, you shouldn’t have. Oh, and since she said so many people agree with her, I can’t imagine why those of you holding this low opinion of me would want to continue reading about someone you find so stupid and misguided, so please leave with her. You are not welcome here.

:: Jenn 10:41 AM [+]

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Talladega Today

Today was brutal! I have to admit that the race was very exciting and at the end there I was practically biting my nails as Jimmie Johnsons and Dale Earnhardt Jr kept switching places for first. What a disappointment when Jimmie fell back and let Jr. take over the lead. And to add insult to injury, Jimmie got clipped and spun out ending his most excellent ride today with a crappy finish while Jr. took home the win. There are actually only a couple of drivers who I really do not like and Jr is one of 'em, the other is Robby Gordon and I'm actually getting over my dislike of Kurt Busch because I have to admire his driving abilities and he's been pretty cool since last year in Cali when he pissed me off. Anyway, just hate it when someone like Jr wins because he is just such a... I can't even come up with the proper adjective to describe him so I'll go with Cocky, Arrogant, riding on daddy's coattails, yadda yadda. but, he drove extrememly well today (of course he does in restrictor plate races). Anyway, what does the future hold for Jimmie this season? Is this bad luck streak going to continue? I sincerely hope not, because it is so damned frustrating to see him get screwed in one way or another EVERY WEEK IN THE LAST 5 LAPS!!!! No more! Well in a couple of weeks he'll be back defending his win in Cali and I'll be there cheering him on... maybe we'll get a back to backer. My fingers are crossed!

As of today he's running 4th in the points race.

:: Jenn 4:47 PM [+]

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Damn Damn Damn

Last night I played in my first Hold 'Em tournament in over a year. I really didn't feel rusty at all and I played awesome. There were approximately 230 entrants and I was pretty sure I was going to make it at least to the last two tables and then I made a STUPID mistake. I ended up getting knocked out about 30th. This means I kicked about 200 people's asses, but I didn't come home with any money. It cost me a total of $90 to play and was an excellent tournament and I was lucky enough to be at a great table with players who played properly. It was a great experience but I'm so disappointed in myself for screwing up like that. Next time I'll do better.

:: Jenn 4:38 PM [+]

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PHOOEY!

Talk about getting hit with disappointment! I mean, I KNEW this was coming and all, but I still was majorly bummed last night when Dave got voted out on Survivor. Now all of my hope lies in Deena, who definitely has a chance, but she's going to have to get rid of the young twig girls who Rob apparently thinks he can have a threesome with if they are the last three. Whatever.

Crossing my fingers for Deena now.

:: Jenn 8:56 AM [+]

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The "F" Word

Does anyone remembering watching a movie (I think it was a movie) on REGULAR TV (maybe ABC?) last year and them saying "FUCK" in it. I remember the event and remember being totally shocked that they said Fuck on Regular TV, but for the life of me I cannot remember what it was i was watching. Anyone remember this? Help me out?

:: Jenn 5:04 PM [+]

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Best Survivor Episode Ever

Since I was in Vegas last week, we missed Survivor. Luckily, mom taped it for me and i watched it last night. OH MY GOSH! This was one of the best episodes I've seen. In a nutshell, there was nudity, drinkin', fucking people over, and game playing galore. It was great. The two young chicks left got naked for some peanut butter. Roger, who so thought he had everything planned and executed, was pretty much executed himself as he was the votee of the night HA HA. Rob, who I have disliked all along has at least gained my respect in that he is there playing the game and playing it extremely well. I have to give him kudos for that and two thumbs up for his Casey Kasem (sp?) impression as he voted Roger out of the game. HE IS A RIOT! And, ya think Coors Light was the big Sposor o' the Week??? heh

:: Jenn 4:58 PM [+]

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Today

It's been such a busy one! Mr. San Diego ventured up to my part of the world on business and met me for lunch at Red Lobster. I ate WAY TOO MANY POINTS!!! But, what's a girl to do with those yummy biscuits right there in front of my face?!? heh

I also performed my SECOND secret shop today for a transportation company. Cool Beans!

Unfortunately this damned gym plan isn't working out so good... somehow I managed to RESET my alarm this morning when attempting to hit snooze so this is two weeks that I've not made it to the gym. Grrrness.

I got re-blonded last night. Plan was to just hit my roots, but apparently my hair girl couldn't see which pieces were blonde, so no I have a few dark streaks in my blonde rather than vice versa. Whatcha gonna do when it's your friend and she charges you next to nothing? I look damned cute, so I guess it's all good =)

It's been a brutal week at work and I'm pretty much spending my time stomping around here mad at everyone. Sounds like a good enough reason to do some internetting instead of work, dontcha think? Pretty exciting update, here. How 'bout that?

Did anyone pull off any good April Fools Day pranks the other day? I almost forgot, but then some of my staff asked me to help them get another of my employees. I told him we were all busted for using the internet and there was a list of names that we were on and we were being investigated. The "we" made it believable, so he got a shock when we walked out of the private room and all of the clerks were standing down there laughing at him. It took a second for it to dawn on him, but then he got it. This was payback for him moving another clerk's car down the street! We at least get to have a LITTLE fun around here!

Damn, I'm so ready to go home.

:: Jenn 2:59 PM [+]

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Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

Yea! Mr. San Diego got us tickets to a concert. I'm pretty excited about it. Dying to know who? Oh boy... here's how old we are, folks: we're going to see Styx, Journey, and REO Speedwagon! Yea! I know, they're old. And, Dennis isn't even singing with Styx anymore (he wasn't the last time I saw them, either!), but I have always wanted to see Journey and REO. This is gonna be fun! It isn't until May 11th. Now if I could only get Fletwood Mac tickets!

:: Jenn 1:05 PM [+]

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You Know Me

I'm always doing weird things. So, I emailed Tyler's parents and introduced myself and just told them how much I enjoyed knowing Tyler (as much as one can know another via blogging and email). It was just one of those things I wanted to do. They both wrote back to me and just from the responses I got, they seem like pretty neat people themselves. I can actually have an inkling of what made Tyler a neat kid, albeit a NUT. Of course, you know me... I like nuts!

I guess part of what I liked about Tyler wasn't just how funny he was... and he was funny, but he was such a BOY. I really like boys... no, not like that! But, you know the boys that play in the dirt and camp and fish and blow things up and all like that! He was definitely that kind of boy and it was fun to read about his exploits. I have learned that you really can't know anyone truly from just blogging with them, but I can say I liked what I did know and damn it, I still miss that kid. He wouldn't want it that way, but I just get sad sometimes thinking about him being gone. Okay, enough with the sad stuff. Party on, Tyler.

:: Jenn 1:02 PM [+]

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Food Stuff

I dunno if I ever mentioned this before, but... here is a tip if you're on the weight-loss trip or hell, if you're just trying to eat healthy. Eat a BIG ASS salad with every meal. You WILL be full. Of course, if you douse it with dressing, it doesn't work quite as well, but tip #2: vinegar! I use flavored vinegar for my salad dressing and I eat a salad with almost every meal... definitely every lunch and it really helps. I have to mention that I am NOT a salad girl. Salad is not, nor has it ever been, one of my favorite foods, but eating it WITH something yummy works really well for me.

I'm down about 15 pounds right now and I think my favorite part at the moment is that my face looks thinner. I can put my hair in a pony tail and I don't feel like I'm sporting a big moon on my neck... I exaggerate, but still. It's nice. I don't have a "goal weight" like some people do, I guess my goal is to be able to go shopping and buy cute clothes. At two pounds per week, by summer I may be able to fit into my old cute summer clothes I could never give up! Or I'll buy new ones! This is so fun =)

:: Jenn 1:05 PM [+]

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Another Disappointment?

Maybe I just have high expectations or something. But I'm continually disappointed by movies these days. I seem to enjoy the cheesy chick flicks way more than movies I would normally be into. Very weird. This weekend we saw Dreamcatcher, which I had been looking forward to for some time. Last year at the San Diego Comic-Con, we saw Jason Lee and Timothy Olyphant who were there promoting and discussing the movie (or attempting to - mostly the audience just wanted to hear Jason Lee cuss them out... freaks). We got DreamCatchers as gifts and saw a very long trailer.

When the real thing came out, I can say that the film making was awesome, but I just didn't particularly like the story - mainly the end, but some of the middle, too. Of course, most Stephen King stuff has been disappointing me for years. What I did like was how well they filmed the "scary" parts. There were times I turned my head and covered my ears! I like that. Even Mr. San Diego jumped in his seat a couple of times. So kudos for the scary. There is also an incredible portrayal of one character's "memory" where he likens it to a storage warehouse. That runs throughout the movie and was ingenious.

I did not read this book so it's possible that there is a better explanation as to the course of events in the book, but I was not happy with the ending and there were a lot of parts of the story that I felt needed better clarification. If this Dudiits character was orchestrating how things would happen, why would he want his friends to die? Maybe, because of who he was, he just didn't care and had a job to do, but that just hit me as odd.

I'm giving it a 6.5. The film itself was great, it was just the story that I had difficulty with. It's worth seeing and on the big screen. Go see it and tell me what you think.

6.5 ~ Dreamcatcher

:: Jenn 9:46 AM [+]

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