8 ~ Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets
2 ~ Mr. Deeds
5.5 ~ Lord of the Rings: TTT
7 ~ Star Trek: Nemesis
1 ~ The Transporter
6 ~ One Hour Photo
6 ~ Goldmember
8.5 ~ Signs
6.5 ~ Bloodwork
5.5 ~ Vanilla Sky
5.5 ~ Monster's Ball
7.5 ~ Interstate 60
7.5 ~ Escape From New York
4.5 ~ Elvira's Haunted Hills
4 ~ K19
6 ~ The Bourne Identity
5 ~ Halloween (8?)
7 ~ Men In Black 2
8 ~ Minority Report
6 ~ Scooby Doo
4 ~ Undercover Brother
7 ~ The Sum of All Fears
8 ~ Insomnia
7 ~ Star Wars, Episode II - Attack of the Clones
9 ~ Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone
4 ~ Snow Dogs
1 ~ Gosford Park
6 ~ Spiderman
6 ~ Jason X
3.5 ~ Murder by Numbers
7 ~ Panic Room
7 ~ Van Wilder
5 ~ Ice Age
4.5 ~ The Time Machine
2 ~ We Were Soldiers
7.5 ~ Blackhawk Down
7 ~ A Beautiful Mind
5 ~ Hart's War
4 ~ Collateral Damage
2 ~ Mothman Prophecies
7 ~ I Am Sam
:: Monday, December 30, 2002 ::
One last thing...
I know, I know. Too much typing for one day. Sorry. Just wanted to mention that today is my last day working until next Monday! YEA! I am officially on vacation for six glorious days. I'm soooo excited. Even if vacation means I will be spending Thursday AND Friday cleaning the hell outta my house! I will attempt to check in on Thursday and/or Friday, but Tuesday and Wednesday I will be out and about preparing for and recuperating from the big New Years Eve party. Everyone have a wonderful holiday and BE SAFE!
This is one of those days where I have a ton of things that I WANT to write about, but I feel funny about writing everything in one day. Of course, the next two days I will be away from home and work and won't be able to blog, so I guess it's ok.
I had this exceptional weekend. It was filled with a lot of heavy conversations, but they were really good conversations. Here are some excerpts:
Saturday ME: You know, I still want to get married.
HIM: I know
ME: And you still don't.
HIM: I've been thinking about it a lot.
ME: I know.
Sunday (While watching people on TV talk about what it means to be "soulmates")
HIM: Hey. What do you think? Is that us?
ME: (thinking this might be a trick question) Ummm.. I don't know, I guess. We're pretty great together. What do you think?
HIM: I've been thinking about it and I think we are.
You know even through the puking, the several trips to the auto parts store, the working on the truck, the no-luck toy shopping trip, the wading through the mess in our house, etc., on Sunday night as we toasted the last beers in the refrigerator, we toasted to what an awesome weekend we had together. I love the guy more every day, but this weekend was special. I think having some tough talks and deep conversations, we got even closer.
On top of all that, we went to Farrell's for ice cream Sunday night after watching Star Trek: Nemesis (another day, another blog entry). Where, after his Rootbeer Float and my Luncheon Sundae, Mr. San Diego bought me a giant jaw breaker. Remember Farrell's? Yup, it's true. There is still one Farrell's left and it is in the Mira Mesa area of San Diego. I was very excited about this and I hope it sticks around for a while. We're going to surprise our friends and drag them over there for a ZOO or something one day!
Almost every weekend is like that first weekend that I spent in San Diego. There is almost always that "first date" quality. We do so many things and talk about so many subjects and we have such a fabulous time together. The only difference is that now we have no discomfort that newness creates. Sure, I have my moments. He has his. Nothing in this world is perfect, but I'm not so sure that we could get a whole lot closer. Hating me yet? heh I just feel really happy right now and I wanted to express it. Damn, it is soooooo about time! yea!
I was about to comment on Kathleen's most recent post, when I decided to just talk about this here as I had already planned to do today!!! Weird parallel universey thing, except with me being on the opposite end of the spectrum. I LOVE Christmas trees. Kids or no kids, I want a tree. It's one of my favorite parts of Christmas, picking out the tree, decorating it, smelling it. I love it. I DON'T get those people with their darn FAKE trees, either!!! We always had a real tree and I have had a tree every year of my life... until this one.
In September when Mr. San Diego and I were moving a bunch of his crap out of our friend's garage, he ran across a fake tree that belonged to him and he asked me if I wanted it. Incredulous, I replied, "for what?" He said, "It's a Christmas Tree." I said, "I know. No thank you." That was the end of that. Until December came around and I started bringing up getting my ornaments from my mom's house, etc. He asked what for... "we left the tree at C's house." I was unsure if we were dancing or joking about the tree, but when push came to shove, we were so busy that we never did have time to get a tree and I was sad. He knew it and told me not to worry, that we'd have one "next year for sure". We piled our present on a table that's in our living room temporarily and I kept calling it our tree, apparently bugging the hell out of him because he kept telling me to knock that shit off. I think he felt guilty that I didn't get my tree.
In the meantime, my MOTHER bought a set of THREE fake trees. Not like your normal Christmas tree, but these skinny, foresty looking ones in three sizes: tiny, small and medium. She set up a little three tree display, but I was shocked that she didn't get a real tree. All of a sudden, NO ONE is getting real trees anymore! I've had discussions with them, like my sister-in-law, who told me about the spiders that came pouring out of the branches of their real tree, prompting them to give up and buy a fake one. There IS that whole pine needles all over the place thing. I am thinking maybe I better re-evaluate my Christmas Tree needs and break down and pick up a 50% off one at Target while they still have them. Anyone (BESIDES Kathleen) have pros and cons about real vs. fake? Are those horrible fake things fire retardent, too? Should I just give in and conform? It's all so confusing.
We had a nice day yesterday and were on our way to FINALLY go see Nemesis when, here it came... a stomach ache. Next thing I knew we were staying home and I was puking my guts up.
Mr. San Diego was really sweet about it and made me chamomile tea and I slept on the couch while he got to spend the night geeking out on WinMX, which yeah, we got set up finally. Of course, it's set up for HIM as the primary, so I don't get to geek out as much as he does, but I'll live =) I guess that will give me more time to try to figure out Moveable Type. heh
Feeling better after a LOT of sleep. Drinking lemon tea and watching Spongebob and hey, Nemesis is playing today, too! Just thought I'd come out of my usual weekend hibernation from blogging and say hey.
The thing about being the boss is that it puts you through a whole spectrum of feelings. Today's feeling? These assholes are just whiney, bitchy, little children. I wish corporal punishment was allowed!
On an enjoyable note, one of the employees in my charge today came to me with issues stemming from others being unhappy with her choices in a leadership role she is acting in temporarily. It gave me great pleasure to say, "It doesn't feel so great, does it?" to her. This is the person who I admired and bent over backwards to help and then who turned on me and led a group of my staff to be pissed at me. I was very angry about it and I get the impression that she is making an effort to repair the damage she caused. Todays episode gave her a little something to think about. I like that.
...and, yeah, maybe it wasn't a 100% appropriate comment, but she knew what I was saying and the desired effect was achieved.
Alrighty then, you have all heard me - errr, read me - uh, whatever... You probably know that Mr. San Diego and I do an extreme amount of downloading of files using the WinMX Peer Program. Last weekend, we finally hooked up a router (Linksys) so that we can both be online at the same time and use our own computers rather than just mine (YEA!). We're very happy about it, except for one thing. WinMX no longer works correctly. The problem lies in the fact that we have to make whats called a "secondary connection" to WinMX, where previously we made a "primary connection". This has to do with something called UDP connections/ports and TCP connections/ports. Apparently by using the router, we no longer have a UDP and/or TCP connection. This means that when I search for files, very few come up and I have difficulty maintaining my place in others' queues and people in MY queue have difficulty making a connection to ME. Now, I think there may be some way to map the proper UDP/TCP ports with the router, but I'm not 100% sure and I definitely have no clue HOW. Does anyone out there know what I'm talking about and have any suggestions for me??? Thanks!!!
Well, Christmas can now be behind us and only New Years Eve lurks ahead. It's somewhat amazing how so much effort goes into preparing for this single day of the year and now it's today and Christmas is over and it feels sort of weird. I had a nice Christmas. It was nice spending time together and with each other's families. Mr. San Diego got to meet my mom's side of the family finally, so that was cool and everything went really well. Our first Christmas together... awww, how sweet.
I just can't help wondering again, for the 11th Christmas in a row, why the County gives us Christmas Eve off rather than the day after Christmas. Sure maybe not everyone spent their Christmas day driving all over hell and back, but for those of us who did, this blows. I realize that some people celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve and even Mr. San Diego and I went out to dinner with his family that night, but that stuff happens in the EVENING, so it's not like people can't do it after work. I just feel like crap and I'm still tired as hell. I laid down and fell asleep on my bed last night fully clothed and shod! Luckily I woke up when Mr. San Diego came to bed and got properly attired for the sleeping process. Anyway, my point is, that I just don't think that whole Christmas Eve Day off is a great idea. Like I needed a day off to sit around, watching porn all day. Geez.
On a crappy note, I have discovered that I need to buy my Vegas Nascar tix on eBay, because of course, they are already sold out. COULD I have learned from the Arizona experience??? What a dumb ass. I have made a date for myself on January 9th, though to go pick up my California Speedway tix. That is the first day you can buy them at the box office, so I'm there! NO more mistakes. I got this stuff all figured out now. It just took me a couple of lessons first.
To expand a teeny bit on my bad day... (because I wanna) I think something that is hard to swallow is the realization that perhaps I'm not as strong and secure as I like to think of myself. I certainly do a fine job of pretending that I'm secure, non-jealous and have tremendous self-esteem. But, then, every once in a while, little things come out to remind me that I'm a little more insecure than I want to admit. Logically, in my mind, I KNOW that I rock. I KNOW that everything is hunky dory in my life. I KNOW I have a great relationship and a bright future ahead of us. But, then I let that chick thing out and I fall into the habit of worrying if things are really going to work out in my relationship. WHY would anyone waste time worrying about this? It's totally illogical and counter-productive. The brains in me know this. Why can't I keep those damned emotions in check? Oh well. Time to go read Sark or something, I guess.
Not having a good day today. I need to find a balance between my wants and how to attain what I want without hurting the feelings of others. Is it so hard to just be happy with all that I have? I am so fortunate. I am one of the wealthiest people I know when it comes to friends, family, love, and those are the things that are most important in life. What on earth do I have to complain about?
You may not believe this, but it's FRIDAY! Okay, not exactly, but for me, it's Friday and my weekend starts in 12 minutes! WOOT! I'm so happy. Have a good one and if I get a minute during this busy weekend, maybe I'll drop by and write something. =)
A Rule for Collectors WARNING: This is a whiney rant
If there is something you like a lot and you think, I'd sure like to collect these, just do it. DO NOT TELL PEOPLE. Trust me on this. If you happen to mention to someone that you like elephants, trust me on this, really... you will continue getting cheap ass, Pic N Save, 99 cent crap elephants from people for the rest of your natural life. Even if you tell people, "I really don't collect those anymore, I just have too many" (which is a lie since I mostly donate those to Goodwill now-a-days), they will still buy them for you. They don't care.
"Oh, it's Christmas, I think I'll get Jennifer this .49 cent purple plastic elephant with orange polka dots."
"oh look it's an elephant, Let me grab that out of the neighbor's trash for Jennifer"
I collect Diamonds (preferable Emerald cut) and Hundred Dollare Bills. You wanna get me something... try getting one of those at Pic N Save! Sorry, BigLots! Same shit. HMPH!
Oh, thanks for the thought and all... I know that what counts, but if you've been hearing me tell people "not interested in elephants anymore" for the last 4 years and you get me one anyway... what kind of thought did that take?
I had to hit the Post Office this morning. I admit it, I was terrified. but, I had to do it. I need to mail a package to my sister in law, niece and nephew and get my Christmas Cards out. What a pleasant surprise for there to be a full staff on hand, the line moved quickly and I was in and out in about 5 minutes! The most amusing part was when the clerk assisting me said, "this can go 1st class, arriving in about 3 days for $17.50 or arriving in 7 days for $17.06". Uh, gee, that was a hard decision. Cracked me up, but hey, 44 cents is 44 cents! KIDDING. I sent it 1st class =)
Ah, the Christmas season. The presents are bought and almost wrapped. There's that Holly Jolly Feeling going on there. Only one thing left to do. Figure out where the hell we're going on Christmas and what time we have to leave to get to the next place.
Being a part of a couple at Christmas is an awful lot more fun than being single (I must admit), but I have certainly enjoyed not having to deal with where to go for holidays the past few years. Mr. San Diego is pretty easy, he doesn't have that super demanding family that says you must be here at this time and there at that time, etc, but he's got that whole divorced parents so we have to do two seperate get togethers thing. I thought we had it all figured out. His family, Christmas Eve and Christmas morning and my family Christmas day afternoon. All good. But of course, he didn't verify when I asked him to, so now we've found that his mom will be doing Christmas day evening. Wheeee now we have a conflict. We'll work it out, but I sure don't want to hog him from his family... all I need is for the mom to hate me! We'll find a way, but that is probably my LEAST favorite part of the holidays. SCHEDULING! Bleh!
I have worked to get this damned website ready to give out the address to people. I sent a mass email out to people yesterday and the site is now down for some reason. I am freaking out. Why does this sort of shit happen anyway? Maybe I oughta get a real host for it, huh? This must be what happens to people who are CHEAP! This sucks so bad. ARGH!!! I just needed to vent.
I've been a busy girl today. I had to get my website uploaded for our Annual New Years Eve Party and I found out that I am a moron. I requested Support a week ago, to which I had not received a reply, because I couldn't make my FTP work. Well, today I figured out the part where oops... might help if I type my ftp address into the little box requesting the address. DOH! But, it's finally up and it looks COOL. I wish I could share it with you, but ummm... well, a little too much personal info for the general public, I'm afraid. You can see the after New Years Eve results which will still look very cool, but will remove things like MY PHONE NUMBER! haha We're doing a Mardi Gras theme, so I had to go to Oriental Trading and buy a bunch of beads and masks and fun stuff like that. I was just about to check out when I realized I hadn't searched for any coupons. Good thing, too! I ended up buying $13 in more items and getting $13 off PLUS free shipping with the coupon code I found. Yea me!
Oh and by the way, I did not get offered the job I interviewed for. The funny thing is before I found out that they selected someone else, I was talking to a co-worker and my boss about my concerns about changing jobs. Mr. San Diego and I need to sit down and talk, because I don't know if I can do this. I have SIX WEEKS OF VACATION!!! How can a world traveler like me give that up??? I just can't! Oh the joys of hooking up with people in other cities. yikes.
So, it's pouring here and I have a 5:30 appt (massage night! YEA!), so I best be off. I'll try to be better tomorrow and actually talk about something important. Maybe. ;-)
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
If you wonder why I shared this today, it's quite simple. I'm having a BAD day and I'm trying very hard to give myself an attitude adjustment. Sometimes reciting this in my head helps. I thought actually typing it out, might REALLY help!
I'm entering this in tandem... here and on Kathleen's site. I'm off to the first of the two Christmas parties. Have a good evening!
I'm guesting over at Kathleen's Place today while she's out and about on VACATION with "Mr. Man"! I wish I was on vacation! So, I will probably be a little light on the posting here as I'm having a brain fart day with not much to say. (hey, that rhymed!). So, you can stop on by there, if you like!
So why is it I can't go a full work day without calling my guy? Why is it that I just miss the hell out of him when I'm not with him. Shouldn't the "honeymoon" be over by now? Sheesh. I'm so in love still... like more every day. Freaky.
While we're on the subject...
WHY are passing lanes always on the uphill side of a two lane highway?
WHY is life not fair, anyway?
WHY do people insist on driving under the speed limit in the passing lane?
WHY do fortune cookies so rarely give a true fortune? (although I got a GREAT ONE today!!! I am gong to inherit large sums of money! wheeeeeeeeeee!)
WHY does my phone ring every time I get up and get half way across the room to the door.
You realize that if I get a new job, blogging is going to come to a screeching slowdown. Why am I bringing this up, you ask? Well, last night I had an interview and when an interview last over 2 hours, you tend to think that it was a positive experience. I am very interested in this position. There are a few details that would need to be worked out if they offer it. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Damned scary, huh?
I did NOT get to see Jesus Christ Superstar and I am pretty bummed about it. Friday I was tied up at Disneyland with the family, which was fun and a little different. It was the first time as an adult that I went to an amusement park and went on almost exclusively children's rides. The only "adult rides" were the Haunted Mansion and Indiana Jones.
I had to do the haunted Mansion twice as it is redecorated in a Nightmare Before Christmas Theme, so I tried to video tape the whole thing on the first time through. Problem was it was way too dark, so that didn't work. i Had to go through a second time so that I could acvtually SEE what was in there and it was great! I recommend you take a peek if you get the chance before they restore it to it's usual them sometime in January.
Indiana Jones was particularly cool because we were at the park with a person whose best friend WORKS at the Indiana Jones ride so we got the Grand Tour of the ride. Starting with a guided tour on the walk up the exit to hop right in line to get in the front seat of the car, up to the end of the tour in the control room to learn some "tricks" of the ride. It was very cool. We particularly like the fact that we got VIP Fast Pass tickets so we didn't have to wait in line for any Fast pass rides.
The amusing part is that my brother's children must be the only freaks in the world who want to GO HOME when they are at Disneyland. I know my nephew is a little different and maybe he was just overwhelmed, but man, it's one weird kid who keeps saying "no more rides! We have to go home!" He did love driving red cars in Autopia (where I won a prize, by the way) and he really enjoyed the Buzz Lightyear show. So it wasn't a wash and we had a pretty good time. Especially in the Holiday It's a Small World! Wheeeeeeeee I loved that. I can't remember the last time I went on that ride! But, then it was over and time to say goodbye to my brother and family. I'll miss them, but it was a nice reminder of why I don't have children of my own! haha
Saturday night, Mr. San Diego and I got all dolled up and went out to his Company Christmas party. I looked purty in a sparkly dress and velvet wrap. It was actually a pretty good time and hey, free beer! We ate, danced a little, he won $75. It was nice. I was just sad that we ran out of time to go see Jesus Christ Superstar. I told him I'd live, but when it came back, be prepared to GO! It wasn't his fault, just bad timing. Sunday was the last day and I had to spend all day in traffic school. Oh My, what a pain in the ass. It was soooo hard to stay awake in that class. I don't recommend getting a ticket. Keep that cruise control at a reasonable speed!
So there was the exciting run down for ya... it could have been worse, just be glad I left out some things... the oil change, toy shopping, dinner, etc... hehehehehe
Would you people quit talking about your freaking snow already? Don't you know that SOME of us would LOVE to live in the snow again. Would love to look outside and see that fresh, no footprints snow covering everything in site, the morning sun reflecting millions of tiny lights. Would love to look at trees that appear to be made of glass. Would love to have a "snow day" to climb into the snow suit (that's a little too tight) and run outside to make snow angels and go sledding until my nose is frozen, my face is pink, my fingers are stiff, and it's time to go inside and have some hot soup in front of the fire. Damn it. I miss snow. I miss real winter.
Some of you probably already know this, but I learned something new while I was in Peru. Truth is, had I read the book that I purchased some 6 years ago "The Secret of the Incas" before I had gone to Peru, I might have already KNOWN this. But, I did not. So to keep you all as informed as me, I'm sharing the knowledge with you.
The Inca were not a race of people. We often call them the Inca race, culture, or whatever, but the truth is that "Inca" (or "Inka") means King. The Incas were the kings of the Quechuan people. In fact, at any one time, there was only one Inca, because there was only one King and it was said that the king was a direct descendant of the Sun. In addition, there was his Queen, who must also be a direct descendant of the Sun. How could that be? You guessed it, The Inca must marry his sister! Luckily he (and only he of the Quechuan culture) could have as many wives as he wanted, thus he bred so many children that there was always a brother and sister to marry and take over!
I just thought this was an interesting little tidbit since I had always thought of the Inca as a race and recently learned better. Now file this in your brain where you can find it. There might be a test.
How come some days, I have nothing to say and other days I can't stop typing? I should write things down and save them for those days where I have nothing to type.
I'm trying to buy Hot Wheels on the Collector's site and it's making me nuts. There are like 15,000 people all trying to get theirs at the same time. This is my second day in a row doing this. Bleh! See what a girl does for love? and money. heh
and WHY the hell is Blogger giving me that damned template error thing again! Grrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm trying to find out if my website hosts can handle MT's requirements. I can't take this!
What cracks me up is when you're searching for something and one result ends up being a blog. So you go read said blog (because you like reading blogs and always like checking out a new one) and as you start to read you think, "oh brother, another 10 year old..." but just as you're clicking on the back button you read that he person is a college student and not even Doogie... like a real 23 year old almost graduating college student. I agree I'm hardly Einstein and I don't have a problem writing annoying drivel at times, but if I ever talk about how bad I want to decorate my bedroom in Backstreet Boys posters (among others) and say OMG a lot, please just take the link to me right off of your site.
I was trying to find somewhere to download this song from so I could link to it for you, but not having luck, so I'm just going to put the lyrics up here. Whoever wrote this is OBVIOUSLY my age. This is a GREAT song!
Nineteen Something sung by Mark Wills (not sure if he wrote it or not)
I saw Star Wars at least eight times,
Had the Pacman pattern memorized
And I've seen the stuff they put inside Stretch Armstrong
Well I was Roger Stauback in my backyard,
Had a shoebox full of baseball cards,
And a couple of Evil Knievil scars on my right arm
Well I was a kid when Elvis died,
And my mama cried.
It was 1970 something, in the world that I grew up in.
Farrah Fawcett hair-do days, bellbottoms and 8-track tapes.
Looking back now, I can see me.
Oh man, did I look cheesy.
I wouldn't trade those days for nothing,
Oh it was 1970 something.
It was the dawning of a new decade,
When we got our first microwave.
Dad broke down and finally shaved those sideburns off.
I took the stickers off my Rubik’s cube,
Watched MTV all afternoon.
My first love was Daisy Duke in them cutoff jeans.
Space shuttle fell out of the sky,
And the whole world cried.
It was 1980 something, in the world that I grew up in.
Skating rinks and black Trans-Ams, big hair and parachute pants.
Looking back now, I can see me.
Oh man, did I look cheesy.
I wouldn't trade those days for nothing,
Oh it was 1980 something.
Now I’ve got a mortgage and an SUV
And all this responsibility
Makes me wish – sometimes -
It was 1980 something, in the world that I grew up in.
Skating rinks and black Trans-Ams, big hair and parachute pants.
Looking back now, I can see me.
Oh man, did I look cheesy.
I wouldn't trade those days for nothing,
Oh it was 1980 something.
Oh it was 19 something.
I love this song. It feels like a little slice of my life.
I just haven't felt like writing today. I guess I'm sort of blah. No, I wasn't earlier, but I just talked to Mr. San Diego and he has been feeling like crap for so long that he's getting down. When Mr. Perpetually Peppy is down, it gets to me. I just feel so bad for him than now I feel sad. Of course when I see him, I will be smiley girl. I'm just worried about him.
I applied for 7 jobs today. Can you believe it? I apply for anywhere between 5 and 10 jobs per week. I've applied for around 100 jobs sine June. What the hell is up with the world? I could get something quick if I could take a pay cut, but asking for 40k is already a small cut. I just can't accept less than that. Now that I have higher rent and utilities and a car payment, I'm broke! When will I find the right job? I'm trying to be patient. We want to buy a house early next year. Where I work will effect where we buy. If we buy based on where I work NOW and then I get a job in San Diego, that might end up sucking. If I could just win a tidy little sum in the lottery, I could pay off my debt and take a pay cut! But Mr. San Diego says we have to cut back and I guess lottery money is getting cut back a little. Only $10 a week now. Sheesh. How am I gonna win like that!?! Heh I think the funniest thing is that we talked about money last night and how we both need to cut back some and I was saying how I never buy anything (I don't really) and then today I drop $100 at Robinson May. haha Had to do it though! Damn, I hate money... or at least the NEED for it. If I was debt free I would so not care about having it as long as I had enough to pay the rent and feed myself.
I make lunch. Turn on the TV and start trying to change the channel. The remote is not working properly... AGAIN and the channels won't change. So I throw the remote on the floor and say "fuck it!" Mr. San Diego picks it up and says,
"what channel do you want to watch?" "I don't know. It's not like we have a fucking TV Guide"
He changes the channel to the TV Guide channel. I'm looking at it and all of a sudden he starts trying to change the channel. I say trying because the remote doesn't work right, so we're still on the TV Guide channel at this point.
I say (loudly), "What are you trying to change it to?" He says, "Speedvision" I jump up screaming, "Oh, I thought you were being nice when you put it on the guide channel for me, but no, you put it on the guide channel for YOU. You get to pick all of the shows, you get to be on the computer, pick the tv show and I'm just nothing! NOTHING! I never get to pick anything. I'm not important!" He says (calmly), "there's a race on and I thought you might want to watch a Nascar race if there was one. Excuse me for thinking you might want to watch Nascar." Of course, I yell that I don't and why I don't and blah blah blah...
I stomp off to get my book. I come back. He's trying to get me to pick something to watch and I'm being difficult, because, I've already been an ass, can't exactly change that... might as well stick to my attitude.
He, of course, apologizes and I feel like shit because, come on, I am totally being a psycho-bitch. So then I just lay there on the couch and cry. Can you say hormones? I apologize for being a bitch. Everything is fine, for some reason this guy always forgives me. I just want to always get along, have no disagreements, and be happy all the time. Why can't I just be a nice rational human being?
Oh, blah, Monday. Not ready to go back to work. You'd think that four days off would make me ready to go back to work, but nope, it sure didnt' feel like four days off. Definitely NOT relaxing. Lucky for me, my choice to not be a mom has been re-affirmed. I love my babies to death, but I also like being able to LEAVE!
Thanksgiving day was very nice. We went to my cousins place and had a great time. Then I went to my mommy's and Mr. San Diego returned to San Diego in my car. Yes, I had no car. I didn't realize how stressful it is to not be able to GO anywhere! So, Friday I spent ALL day at my mom's with my brother, his wife and his kids. AND my dad, who the kids think it is quite entertaining to SCREAM at. They'd probably get bored if he wouldn't act scared and yelll "AAAhhhh" whenever they screamed at him, but no, he must continue to do it over and over as they scream over and over. There is no point attempting to watch a movie. There is no point attempting to play on the computer. There is no point in doing anything but focusing 100% attention on the children. Ok. I'm good with that I don't see them much. But, I dunno if I was PMSing or what, but everything was just ticking me off. Everything anyone said upset me, Mr. San Diego "fell asleep" so ended up not returning to my mom's on Friday night, my brother and I got in an arguement where HE screamed at me and I went to sleep crying. Sucky night. In the AM, mom and The Girl were puking. Oh brother.
Saturday morning Mr. San Diego rescued me and off we went to Magic Mountain where we had a nice short 20 minute wait for X, instead of the 6 hour wait of last time and when we got on it started pouring, so that was interesting and we were soaked when we got off. We took refuge from the rain in the gift shop for a while and when the rain finally stopped, Mr. San Diego informed me that he was feeling sick. We were going to hit the theatre so he could sit and rest, but the sow didn't start for 2 hours so we decided to leave and head to our friend's house who lives nearby and was hosting a poker game for the evening. You guessed it, Mr. San Diego got the puking bug. We stayed the night with him alternately sleeping and puking and then headed home in the morning and spent the day lounging around and doing laundry. I called my mom to see how she was doing and her and The Girl were better but now The Boy is puking. Geez. I'm just focusing on the good vibe that is going to see me through without getting this damned bug. So, I'm sure you enjoyed that blow by blow, but I just wanted to illustrate WHY my four days off just didn't really work out for me. This week's gonna be better. I know it.